My dogs are ASBO dogs.
I love them beyond words but they are as unruly and filthy as they come. They have no comprehension of boundaries or personal space. It is becoming apparent that if you combine smothering love with a total lack of discipline then you get waggy-tailed monsters that trash your house.
Crimes my dogs have committed include but are not limited to:
- Breaking into the pub next door, eating a 20-litre vat of spaghetti bolognese from the kitchens and puking the lot onto my cream bedroom carpet.
- Scraping their itchy bottoms along the expensive living room rug using only their front paws for movement. Maintaining eye contact with me throughout.
- Urinating onto my open Macbook Pro
- Rolling in fox poo then writhing around on my clean sheets
- Dropping dead rabbits/frogs/pheasants onto my chest whilst I sleep on the sofa.
- Puking dead rabbits/frogs/pheasants up in hidden locations around the house. Eating the puke. Puking that.
Combine this with an owner that spends way too much time browsing Pinterest interior design boards and we have a problem. I have had to forget minimalism, expensive cushions and the colour white. Instead, I embrace the following pet-friendly design tips…
1 – FURNITURE WITH A ‘DISTRESSED’ FINISH IS YOUR FRIEND
If your pets are anything like mine, then their paws will be all over your furniture. It will be climbed on, scratched, chewed, rubbed against, and heaven-forbid, licked. My dog Bambi is the worst culprit for the latter.
Vast pools of wetness kept appearing on the sofas, so I took her to the vets thinking she was urinating in her sleep and dying from kidney failure. Turns out the wet patches on the sofa were just lick-lick. Filth. Sofa-lickers are the worst.
The moral of this story is to buy stuff that already looks slightly trashed. Then it all looks intentional.
2 – INVEST IN STYLISH PET ESSENTIALS
Dog beds can take up an enormous amount of floor space and really draw the eye. Poorly designed or worn out pieces will drag the rest of the room down.
Make sure your dog’s bed compliments the style of your home. For me – that means oversized, tweed, velvet and faux fur. For you – that may mean modern, monochrome or bold colours.
SHOP FOR DOGS
3 – START WITH A BASE OF EARTHY OR NEUTRAL TONES
The overall tone of a naughty pet home needs to be mud friendly. No white for you. Unless it’s on the ceiling.
If fifty shades of murky
The living room below looked a bit drab with our old wooden coffee table, but the mirrored upgrade really sharpens things up.
4 – TOY STORAGE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE… AND THEIRS TOO
Brightly coloured dog toys offend me – they ruin colour schemes and hurt when stood on. Though I can’t stop buying them because watching the dogs play is one of my greatest pleasures. So I found a solution and invested in some baskets for their toys that match the interiors.
Unexpected bonus – my dogs are so simple that they forget the toys that they can’t immediately see. Now every day is like a new toy day as they nuzzle into their toy box for the next lucky dip.
5 – THROWS. THROWS EVERYWHERE.
It is a lot easier to wash a throw than it is to wash AN ENORMOUS SOFA. In case you didn’t know, sofas don’t fit in the wash. So my linen cupboard is teeming with all sorts of throws – I have winter throws, summer throws, fancy guest throws and throws that are essentially tarpaulin for when the kids, dogs, ponies and adults are going mental in the summer holidays.
Below is my ‘summer casual’ throw. It covers a multitude of sins. Another benefit of throws is that you can change the colour of your sofa without buying a new sofa. Magical.
6 – PUT YOUR PETS ON THE WALL
Not literally. That’s weird. But in the form of art. It is impossible not to smile at a well-done caricature of the family pet in a downstairs loo. Alternatively, just print out your favourite Instagram snap and pop it in a frame. Easy. And free (apart from the frame). See how sweet baby Chief looks on my dressing table.
SHOP MY INTERIORS
BONUS TIP – HAVE FUN WITH IT
This is the sleeping area that my mother designed for her Doberman. It is ridiculously extra and it brings us all joy as we walk through the front door.
I’d love to hear about any of your pet related interior design tips (or disasters!) so please leave a comment on here, or over on my Instagram @rosehoneymorgan. And don’t forget to subscribe for my next post.